Scene 6
SHARON
I want you to recount everything you told me—that you rarely leave home; how you haven’t worked or had a date in three years. Fill that record with your damages.
RACHEL
I still keep wondering though whether it was my fault. If I was too needy and desperate, maybe I drove her away.
SHARON
You were supposed to be yourself in her office. Listen to me—you did everything right.
(Stan enters and activates a recorder.)
STAN
Good afternoon ladies; hope you had a pleasant lunch. Rachel, what was your week like after the termination of your therapy?
RACHEL
I cried. I slept. I remember all I ate was a peach and a bagel for three days.
STAN
Were you suicidal?
RACHEL
I thought about shooting myself in front of Marilyn. I wanted my blood on her briefcase.
STAN
When you left her office by ambulance on the last day of your treatment, did you feel you needed emergency psychiatric care?
RACHEL
No. I mean, I broke her mirror because… I felt shattered.
STAN
What was your experience like when you got to Bellevue?
RACHEL
There was a woman handcuffed to a gurney. I was scared. But the worst part was the way Marilyn walked right past me after speaking to the doctors. I stood up and called her name. She turned around and said, (in a degrading tone) “What do you want, Rachel?”
STAN
The way you’re saying it now?
RACHEL
Yeah, like “what the hell do you want.” Then she said goodbye, but it was like “goodbye bitch. Hope you rot in here.”
STAN
How many times did you call Dr. Morganstern after your termination?
RACHEL
Maybe 10 or 20 or something. I thought if she heard my voice, she might soften and speak to me.
STAN
A couple months later you filed a complaint with the American Psychological Association. Can you explain why you’d still want to stay in treatment with Marilyn when you stated that her unethical conduct compromised her ability to render professional and effective care.
RACHEL
Because I was devoted to her; you can hate someone and still long for them.
STAN
Was Dr. Morganstern a good therapist up until the last day?
RACHEL
Yes.
STAN
How did she help you?
RACHEL
I told her everything; I’d never opened up to someone like that.
STAN
Anything else?
RACHEL
We made progress; I began to understand that the abuse wasn’t my fault. And neither was this.
STAN
How did you come to that determination?
RACHEL
Marilyn acted like my internet search was an assault. I figured she must have been stalked before, I triggered her overreaction, and that’s why she filed the restraining order.
STAN
Did you ever say or do anything that would cause her to be afraid of you?
RACHEL
No.
STAN
How about when you started sitting on the stoop across from the doctor’s office; do you think that scared her?
SHARON
Objection, you haven’t established that she was sitting anywhere.
STAN
Did you sit on the steps of a building across from Dr. Morganstern’s office?
RACHEL
Yes, after she rejected me because I was destroyed. I wasn’t watching Marilyn. I wanted her to comfort me.
STAN
How long did this stalking persist?
SHARON
Objection to the form of the question. She admitted to sitting, not stalking.
STAN
Fine, withdrawn; sitting…and watching.
RACHEL
Maybe six months.
STAN
Did you sit there in the rain?
RACHEL
Yes.
STAN
In the snow? (Rachel nods) Please answer for the record.
RACHEL
I did.
STAN
Not unlike your behavior with your ex-boyfriend Martin?
SHARON
Take it outside, Counsel; I want this off the record.
(Sharon and Stan walk to stage left.)
Where are you going with this line of questioning?
STAN
I’m filing a motion to dismiss this case. Your client is the same jilted lover yet again, fixated on revenge.
SHARON
Then it was your client’s job to treat Rachel’s attachment issues instead of kicking her to the curb.
STAN
I want this on the record, Sharon. There’s a pattern here. She’s not depressed, she’s diabolical.
SHARON
She was a lovesick teenager. File your motion, waste your time if you want, but this line of questioning stops now.
(They return to Rachel.)
STAN
Do you still pinch your skin with pliers?
RACHEL
Yes, I−
STAN
Hit yourself with the heel of a shoe?
RACHEL
I couldn’t manage the pain of being discarded. I had problems before, sure, but I went out, I had fun. Now I’m afraid to be around people—if I can’t trust the person I paid for that purpose, how can I possibly trust anyone?
SHARON
Rachel, do you need a break? (Rachel nods)
STAN
When I’m done. Did you fantasize that you were Marilyn’s daughter?
RACHEL
Yes.
STAN
Were you jealous of her family?
RACHEL
Yes.
STAN
How deeply did you care about Marilyn?
RACHEL
I loved her. I still do. And she invited me to love her.
STAN
What do you mean by that?
RACHEL
She told me that my writing was special.
STAN
So?
RACHEL
She held my hand, caressed my face.
STAN
Or did you push the boundaries?
RACHEL
She accepted me, something my mother never did. She had this way of gazing at me…so now, am I precious or a pariah? Which truth should I believe?
STAN
So Marilyn kicked you out, had you arrested, filed a restraining order and you call that love?